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Love: A Tempestuous Experience
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Common Relationship Statements

Love Quiz

Your Ideal Mate





Your Ideal Spouse Survey
What Would He or She Be Like?
[This is an anonymous questionnaire -- do not put your name.]

We are investigating people's beliefs about the qualities of an "ideal spouse." Obviously, what is "ideal" for you may not be ideal for someone else; we are each unique in what we look for in a partner. What we want to know here is your own view, that is, what your ideal spouse would be like. Your answers are anonymous, and we appreciate your frank and candid response. Please take a moment to imagine your ideal spouse. Then, in the blank space next to each of the following statements, write a number from 1 to 7 indicating the importance of that characteristic. 1 is not at all important, and 7 is very important.

Spouse Test



1. He/she would remember my birthdays and anniversaries and make them special. ________
2. He/she will allow me to make decisions about financial matters. ________
3. He/she would be proud of my achievements (e.g., athletic, academic, career). ________
4. He/she would adapt to my many moods. ________
5. He/she will be there when I need him/her. ________

6. He/she would be a good lover.

7. I could rely on him/her to guide my decisions. ________
8. He/she would try to make me comfortable when I am sick. ________
9. He/she would be very affectionate. ________
10. He/she could be persuaded to see things my way during an argument. ________
11. He/she would recognize that I am a very good parent. ________
12. He/she would see me through hard times. ________
13. He/she will accept and like me the way I am. ________
14. He/she would allow me freedom to pursue my interests and hobbies. ________
15. He/she would work hard at making our home comfortable. ________
16. He/she would recognize my career achievements. ________
17. He/she would act as if our honeymoon had no end. ________
18. He/she would admire me for my social ease. ________
19. He/she would recognize my authority in the household. ________
20. He/she would be responsive to my sexual needs. ________
21. He/she would want to take care of me. ________
22. He/she will always be pleased to see me after work. ________
23. He/she would take my advice about major purchases. ________
24. He/she would be proud to be seen with me. ________
25. He/she would want to have romantic evenings. ________
26. He/she will give me recognition when I do something well. ________
27. He/she would want me to make my own decisions. ________
28. He/she would be quite willing to change jobs and move with me wherever my career advancement takes me. ________
29. He/she would be "in love" with me. ________
30. He/she would appreciate the fact that I have much insight into human nature. ________
31. He/she will speak up on my behalf when my attributes are questioned. ________
32. He/she would prefer to furnish the house according to my taste. ________
33. He/she would be strong in areas in which I am weak. ________
34. He/she will consult me in making decisions. ________
35. He/she would encourage me to go out by myself. ________
36. His/her caring attitude and concern would make me feel loved and accepted. ________
37. He/she will take charge of family matters. ________
38. He/she will see me as quite intelligent. ________
39. He/she would never leave me stranded. ________
40. He/she would prefer that I budget our money. ________
41. He/she would be extra nice to me on special occasions. ________
42. He/she would represent security to me. ________
43. He/she would respect my need for occasional separate leisure time. ________
44. He/she would make sure that we live in comfort. ________
45. He/she would be someone who excites me sexually. ________
46. It would be clear to him/her that I am a separate person and can take care of myself. ________
47. He/she would rather have it my way than argue. ________
48. He/she would make me feel thoroughly loved and adored. ________
49. He/she would respect my need for an occasional separate vacation. ________
50. My physical comfort would be important to him/her. ________
51. He/she would feel that I need no protection, that I can rely on myself. ________
52. He/she would physically satisfy me. ________
53. He/she will strongly encourage and help me to achieve my career goals. ________
54. He/she would respect my desire to do some things on my own. ________
55. He/she would show me affection always, not just in bed. ________
56. He/she would help me solve my unresolved problems. ________
57. He/she will recognize that I have the final say in many decisions. ________
58. I can depend on him/her to tell me what to do at times. ________
59. He/she would come close to being the best lover imaginable. ________
60. It would be OK with him/her if I spent some evenings out without him/her. ________
61. He/she would be very attentive to me when I am tired. ________
62. He/she would see me as witty and charming. ________
63. He/she will provide a nice house. ________
64. He/she would brag about me to others. ________
65. He/she would generally take my suggestions or advice. ________
66. He/she would appreciate my desire to pursue a career. ________
67. He/she would tell me how attractive I am. ________
68. He/she would frequently cook for me. ________
69. He/she would support my decisions without question. ________
70. . He/she would not make noise in the morning, so I can enjoy an extra hour in bed. ________
71. Understanding my feelings would be important to him/her. ________
72. He/she would see me as competent and worthy in my chosen field. ________
73. He/she would expect me to make my own career decisions. ________
74. He/she will respect and admire me. ________
75. He/she will try to ease my pain. ________
76. He/she would enjoy taking the vacations I choose. ________
77. He/she would show interest in most aspects of me. ________
78. He/she would not interfere with my having my own friends. ________
79. He/she would gladly take over a task when I get frustrated. ________
80. He/she will spend more time with my friends than with his/her own friends. ________
81. He/she would protect me against the adversities of life. ________
82. He/she would rub my back when it aches. ________
83. He/she would admire me for my abilities. ________


Dr. Hindy is co-author of

"If This Is Love, Why Do I Feel So Insecure?"
Learn more about his approach to couples counseling in the book!
Fawcett Crest / Ballantine
448 pages
Paper: $7.99  |  Kindle: $5.99

Available at all major book sellers, including:

Buy It Online!

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Ask About: "If This Is Love, Why Do I Feel So Insecure?"


~ Carl G. Hindy, Ph.D. ~
120 Main Street, Suite 103
Nashua, NH 03060 (603) 880-8773

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